The question is not on what we look at, but instead, it is of what we see, as said by Thoreau. Everything is to be measured not simply on how it is said to be the outcome, but also through the vessels and the probable means. No matter how successful that is that you've achieved, once you don't have the heart and the passion in pursuing it, it simply doesn't make any worth. I believe that everyone encounters failures. Who among you haven't experienced one? I, myself, am proud to say that I"ve been through those head-shaking failures. You might be wondering why of all the things I should be proud of; it is my failures in which I chose to point out. I believe that without those instances I've encountered, I wouldn't learn and feel the reality itself. It is one big factor that taught me, instructed me, and guided me. These so-called "punches of life" served as an eye-opener for me to see as well as feel the need for urgency and passion in one's endeavor. It is not what we look at, but what we see; I reiterate. No matter how many scratches that shoes of you contains, it doesn't matter. What will continually prevail and outstand it all is the value of that certain shoes---the circumstances it faced, how long it has reached its travel.
The doorknob smiles at me alone But will I open the door again I've seen this happening before I've seen myself fall face first on the floor
Crash and burn On the floor So I turn Crash and burn
So used to lying on the floor And now I'm sinking Unable to give anymore And now I'm sinking
Forever envelopes my days Gasping for air as I look for an escape I'm drowning in a letter made to stay I took one look away
And so I turn Crash and burn On the floor So I turn Crash and burn
So used to lying on the floor And now I'm sinking Unable to give anymore And now I'm sinking
The strong's too weak to hurt the weak Must be strong enough to leave And I can't function properly Im lying here Lying here
Can you hear me talking Can you see me there I'm not getting anything from you Can you hear my whispers Can you see me there Coz i'd be lost I'd be lost without you
-SpongeCola
i sooo love this song. i could feel every strum of the guitar, every beat of the drums, and every word that was uttered.. oh, not really.. the last two phrases won't apply. i'm not desperate, you know.
**the past is a history we ought to repeat** what do you think?
a feeling of emptiness, happiness, and stress have dealt with me this month. ironic, isn't it? i was bombarded with tons of stuffs to accomplish.. projects, midterm exams, rehearsals everyday from 6-9pm and the play itself, etc.. etc.. *whew* i could finally breathe.
february 10, saturday: i must say that this was my "first gimmick" with some of my cousins (ate faye, ate joy, and ate belle). we first went to eastwood, then to tapika bar katips. we really had fun together. after a loooong loong time since we've reunited. soundtrip, foodtrip.. nachos, acoustic ambience, bondings, screw driver, kamikaze slush.. as usual, we're all puyat. :)
february 11, sunday: ate joy, ate belle, and i went to cavite from ate faye's house. we first dropped by ate ellen's house, and there we saw his uber-uber cute son, newell. *squeeeesh* ate rizza, ate gina were also there. we also went to ate ethel's house and saw her 1-month old daughter and her other son. i've also seen ate cora after decades with her one-month old daughter as well. i've also seen my two nephews erwin and edison.. (they're older that me.. haha!). we had some foodtrips, as usual. fun fun fun again. :)
february 14, tuesday: looove day. i had a date with one of my most special someone.. my bestfriend jon, of course. after our class, we headed to greenbelt to scout for a nice place to have dinner. after walking for about an hour, without any exaggeration, we decided to eat at fuzion.. hmmm.. pasta chicken alfredo, potato platter with garlic cream sauce, south-peach diet and mango blush smoothie.. yumm! plus the comfy bed we're sitting and lying at. no doubt our looove day turned out to be great! thanks, sis.. luvyah! :)
february 15-17, wednesday-friday: midterms!!! technical dress rehearsal for the play!!!
february 18, saturday: it's sunshine petal's debut! it was held at st charbel exec village's clubhouse. the theme is boracaaayy hotness ever even if it's night time. haha! i've been one of her eighteen bubbles.. it's sooo nice to see my former classmates and batchmates again. we had a pool-smashing fun after her "18-stuffs". i was congratulated for wearing a "string-B" by my former classmates. haha! the gutts, man! i was actually forced.. in fairness, i look good while wearing those. hahaha! *feelers* ;)
february 19, sunday: i was ready to go to church.. but unfortunately, something unexpected happened. *sniff*
february 20-21, monday-tuesday: rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal.. REHEARSAL!
february 22, wednesday: tah-ran! "Kapihan sa Loob ng Isang Dula"! thanks for those who watched our play. thanks thanks! our first performance wasn't that good.. it was just our 2nd time to go to WSL theater, so medyo nangangapa sa technical and all. but thank God, our second performance, that night was better than what we've expected. waaahh!!! *tears of joy!*
february 23, thursday: joseriz class.. we talked about the concept of "deconstruction". i salute you, sir! nice views.. *thumbs up* after joseriz class, it's still 5hrs to go before my next and last class, aesthet. i went to the comLab for my course enlistment.. i also did our project/presentation for aesthetics class. after making this 35-slides, i just found out that the U-drive wasn't working! the heck! i couldn't save it in my documents for it would be deleted at the end of the week by actc. besides, it couldn't fit in aika's usb.. waaahhh!!!! after almost 5 hours of working for that PPT.. pathetic!
i missed going to church.. praise and worship.. messages.. everything. i'm sooo excited for sunday! no way i would be missing church! *swear*
Lord, thank you for your daily provisions.. guidance and strength.. the ones around me. thank you.
it seems that i've been away from this so-called "reality" for quite a while..
i just don't know how, i just don't know why.
confusion's dazzling over my mind for quite some time..
even to the point of hardly giving this poem a rhyme.
tears won't be enough to surpass it all..
i need a steady foot for me not to stumble and fall.
if i could just breakdown and feel the numbness in me..
would this mean that for even just a while, i would be free?
ooohhh..
punches of life..
i feel like i'm a mountaineer losing my grip from a hike.
are tears really inevitable?
why does it have to be?
is pain really intolerable?
how could it possibly be?
my mind's really messed up.. this instantly came on my mind.. this is what i'm feeling these days.. i'm just trying to release my thoughts. forgive me, pls..
woohoo! i'm spending the rest of my time here at the i-nook while waiting for our DF rehearsal to begin.. my.. tell you, it's 6-9pm. *whew* anyways, i stayed at the dorm the whole week. my scehdule was really getting hectic these days.. strenuous rehearsals for the upcoming play this feb 22, nstp preparations, projects, extemporaneous speeches (oh my), exams, and the list goes on and on.. plus, midterm exams next week. oh, college life! just before i went here at the i-nook, we (martha, muhmee, bbyluv) helped me in trimming my bangs like it was before. i looked like an anime once again. haha! martha did the same stuff but with different style.. we're tweenees. =P instead of going to the salon, we were the ones who "crazily" trimmed our bangs. thanks, bbyluv, my hair artist! the future owner of the "Refrea Haircutters". *evil laugh*
january's merely at its end, once again.. time is running fast, yes we all know.
let me just relish on what have happened this month..
january 1 happy new year! =P (oh mehn.. this is just my first entry for the year, before i forget)
january 2 jeline, shoti, fredjohn, and i went to divi.. shopping!
january 3 i moved to the dorm.. i really had a hard time moving. i cried a lot.. a LOT.
january 4 happy birthday, camille ! start of the third term. i've met new professors and classmates in reconse, oralcom, bmat-x, and poligov
january 5 first meeting in joseriz, aesthet, and PE-arnis.. we're somehow disgusted with our joseriz prof. she's a total *%!+(#* no comment, tell you. we're just 8 in the class.. the rest of the subjects are fine.
january 6 happy birthday, jeni borjie! first NSTP-2 meeting.. we've spent only 30 minutes.. we're in a new block. waaahh!!!
january 9 happy birthday, josh .. and ate joy, my cousin! =P
after a week, our joseriz class was dissolved! we rushed to the registrar's office to find a new class, or else, we have to take the subject next term. NO WAY! but still, we're happy that we are already moved to a nother class.. so far, we're placed in a nice and normal class. *whew* for all you know, i'm really not into drawing. sooo not. my drawings are similar to the work of a third grader. *grins* now, i have to deal with a subject called aesthetics. it is purely art appreciation, whether in drawing, singing, dancing, acting, etc.. and the thing is.. i was placed in a drawing class, by a professor who's also an architect. mehn! but so far.. so good. it has a good effect on me. i'm starting to appreciate drawing. funny, isn't it? i was able to use my hands to plot my imaginations.. i interpreted the song "stone's throw" through drawing.. our group was also asked to draw a stone-image of an unusual hand. i became more confident in drawing when my prof tried to commend my work. *blush* haha!
oral communications is really a confidence-booster class. speeches, whether impromptu or read. (the basic necessity of my course) i have to develop my confidence in speaking, still. my theater experiences was really a great help in dealing with this subject.
i am really enjoying my arnis class.. although i really had sored muscles in the first meeting. i'm taking it seriously. haha! my professor's an assistant coach in the philippine team, so i guess we're having effective trainings. sir arnis (i forgot his name) is asking me if i want to have an advanced training every sat at the ultra. career? haha! i have received a text message stating that i was accepted as a member of the DLS-CSB'sDulaang Filipino. omg! i went to the said meeting at around 7pm in OCA. this is a different experience for and me. we would be dealing not in acting, but in the productions. i was asked to be the assistant stage manager, while my tweenee (martha) being the assistant production manager. the crossroads would be held at the William Shaw Theater at DLSU , some time this february. pls watch. =P
january 15 happy birthday, lauren! i wasn't able to attend your party.. sorry, gurl.
january 27 i went to the ateneofair/concert with my my bestie joand my dear brother. we arrived at cello's past 6pm to meet with my sis and Lj. thanks to my bestie's kabarkada-micko for offering a ride inside ateneo.. we watched the concert, but before entering the covered courts. woah! we were shocked by the uber-dooper strict security. they thoroughly inspected our bags and stuffs.. as if we're bombers and killers. mehn.. we've seen ryan'sjoshfamous band, Daimos Killed Betty Boop. thumbs up with their performance! we're really impressed. congrats, ryan and the group! =P after their performance, we walked along their campus and stayed at josh's booth, while waiting for the bands: mojofly, itchyworms, narda, and hale. bigBrostayed with us for just a while.. he went home right away. as well as ryan and hans . we watched mojofly and a bit of itchyworms' performance.. josh is just so kind enough to drive us home.. safely. thanks, joshie!
january 28 my bestie's waiting for me at DLSU's computer nook. after which, we went straight to her house to decide on what to do. we fixed ourselves and left the house again.. jo's dad dropped us at the LRT2 station.. thanks, tito mar! it was around 7pm when we arrived at katips. imagine this.. we walked from LRT2 station all the way to ateneo high school. take note, we walked outside admu's gate. *whew whew whew* when we got there, jo and i were still deciding whether to go to the fair once again.. as requested by josh. we're supposed to attend the album launch of Up Dharma Down that night, but unfortunately, we weren't able to. to start the day, i attended my nstp class at around 2pm already, while jeni fetched us at the entrance with her "friend" juneil. we stayed at the field for a while, watching the film "hide and seek" with bigBro george, ate rovy, jeni, and her friend. my sis and i bought something to eat.. we shared over a beefsteak in a box plus zagu.. yum! we also saw gino, jandee.. and to our surprise, eug . we've seen josh for just a while.. taking his shift in their booth. we took pictures in 4c.. we're like the first group to do such poses. haha! pic galore, indeed! micko was there again.. after a while, he dropped us at mcdo (sis, chino->eug's lil bro, and me). thankies again! =P we waited for bigBro's parents to fetch us.. thanks to bigBro and his parents for dropping us at jeni's place. (i won't plot the details anymore.. so complicated)
aryt.. after not posting for over a month, this is the consequence. tsktsk
